“Shit! Its positive” I exclaimed as I looked at the E.P.T test. Instantly, I lost my breath. “What now?” I thought. I knew exactly when it happened. It was about two months ago. This positive test was the outcome of a farewall fuck. One last good-bye before completely letting go.
In May, I found myself at my high school alma mater. Nervous was an understatement. I couldn’t believe 10 years had come and gone. Here I am at my high school reunion. In a way, I dreaded this day. I hadn’t yet achieved that sense of greatness. “Ok! brush it off,” I told myself. “You’re going to walk in there with your head up but not nose in the air.”
I walked in with a welcoming smile and handsome husband by my side. He decided to have a seat at our table while I mingled. I saw my good friend, Monique. I gave her a great big hug. It was great to see her and she was almost looking as good as me.
All of a sudden, I felt this feeling that was vaguely familiar. It was a little like someone tapping your soul on the shoulder. I looked around the room; hoping no one could see how it was affecting me. I felt guilty and tried to hide myself from him and my husband. Monique could sense something was the matter and asked me if everything was okay. “Yea”, I responded.
“Can you hear that?” I asked.
“What?” she asked.
“Oh, um, never mind.” I responded. It was just me that I heard my heart beating 100 mph. I kind of sighed with relief and almost choked when he brushed my arm. The feeling was now a physical manifestation of his presence. I always knew I would feel him before any of my senses were aware.
My soul discerned him before any of my five senses could. But once he was close my eyes found there way to his lips. I heard every word that he spoke but my brain could not comprehend. My nose became invigorated by his intoxicating cologne. He put his hand on the small of my back and repeated his initial question.
I overcame my trance to respond. “Hey, I’m fine, thank you.” I felt my self step back for a minute. I needed to retreat so I could maintain or regain my composure. At this point, I couldn’t tell which.
I excused myself. In the restroom, I told myself to get it together. When I looked in the mirror, he was staring back at me. I was floored and speechless. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes for fear of getting lost. I don’t want to get sucked into his gravity again.
He stepped closer until I was cornered against the wall. “Tell me you want me to go,” he said. Still speechless, nothing… Our lips met like magnets.
I gave in.